Quotes About Funny

“I thought I’d lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while,” he grunted, “It relaxes me.”
“It does? Oh – you’re being sarcastic. That’s a good sign probably.”

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-Cassandra Clare

“A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.”

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-Bill Cosby

“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”

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-Billy Sunday

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”

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-Anonymous

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”

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-Albert Einstein

“That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

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-George Carlin

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”

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-George Carlin

“I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist”

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-Gena Showalter

“Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.”

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-Ellen DeGeneres

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named “Bush”, “Dick”, and “Colin.” Need I say more?”

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-Chris Rock

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”

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-Cathy Guisewite

“I thought I’d lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while,” he grunted, “It relaxes me.”
“It does? Oh – you’re being sarcastic. That’s a good sign probably.”

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-Cassandra Clare

“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”

Tags: , , , ,
-Billy Sunday

“A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.”

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-Bill Cosby

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”

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-Anonymous

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”

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-Albert Einstein
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